In fact, Atlanta's home cooking is bettered only by the Celtics, Cavs, Lakers, Blazers and Jazz.

Many refs are discomforted when taller coaches roam the sidelines, especially when they loom over the refs to communicate their grievances. That's why stand-up bigs are more liable to be T'd up than sit-down bigs.

Being 6-9, I mostly stayed seated except when I was unusually (and frequently) outraged by what I deemed to be an egregious miscall. And my penchant for keeping my seat led to a highly unusual circumstance during a game that my Rockford Lightning played in Topeka, Kan. in the 1988-89 CBA season.

The Sizzlers were the worst team in the CBA (finishing the season at 14-40), and the Lightning was one of the best. So my players and I had a lighthearted attitude both before and during the ball game.

Topeka went through two coaches and 29 players during that season, and when we arrived in town, the roster included once and future NBA players such as Jim Rowinski, Perry Moss, and Carlton McKinney. The soon-to-be-fired coach was Art Ross, who gained much of his experience coaching in Scotland and England and was a CBA rookie. As such, Ross had a perpetually dazed and confused look about him.

The game was a rout from start to finish with Rockford winning by 123-97. That's why I remained seated throughout.

As it was still early in the seasons, there were slightly more than 1,000 fans on hand. Just as the second half commenced, there was a shrill cry from the stands directly adjacent to the visitors' bench. This was immediately succeeded by a loudly wailing young child — perhaps 18 months old or so — in the act of stumbling down the aisle and on the verge of falling onto the court.

I instinctively reached out and grabbed him, saving him from being trampled by still another Lightning fast break. As soon as I perched the toddler on my knee for temporary safekeeping, he stopped crying and actually began to gurgle with happiness.

His mother was there in a flash, prolific in her gratitude and her embarrassment. But as soon as she picked up her son, the boy started wailing again even louder than before.

When replaced on my knee, the crying stopped and the happy gurgling resumed.

With the mother's eager consent, I continued coaching with the boy on my knee. When I lifted him to consult with my team during timeouts, his good mood wasn't altered.

The boy fell asleep midway through the fourth quarter, apparently bored by the lopsided game — and was quickly rescued by his mom.

The crowd responded by giving me a standing ovation, and when I stood to acknowledge their applause I noticed a small pee-stain on my pants leg.

As a result of the malodorous consequences, my players made me sit by myself in the back of the van on the ride back to the motel.